Developing the Correct Mindset
for Confronting a Loved One
by Adrian McMaster
When you are involved in an argument or a confrontation with a loved one, you may always get angry and fail to communicate your points clearly. Alternatively, you may get so nervous that you do not communicate your feelings. Neither of these scenarios has a positive outcome, making them unproductive and a waste of your valuable time. If you are going to confront a loved one about something they have said or done, you will need to develop a mindset that helps you to communicate your feelings clearly, respect the feelings and emotions of the other person, and resolve any remaining issues so that your relationship can get back on track for success.
Before you can confront a loved one effectively, you’ll need to have a good idea of the issues you want to discuss. With your positive mindset in place, sit down and develop a list of topics you would like to discuss with your loved one. Has he or she hurt your feelings? Is there a family issue you want to discuss before it progresses any further? All of these issues are important and they can grow from small issues to big issues if you hold them in and refuse to discuss them with your loved ones. Having a list to refer to will keep you on topic and will help to keep the conversation from disintegrating into a period of accusations or insults.
Once you have compiled the list of issues you would like to discuss, you can make a plan for how you will confront your loved one. Ambushing him or her is not the best idea, as it can make them defensive, aggressive, and closed off to hearing any of the issues you want to discuss. Instead, approach the person and ask them if they can set aside to talk with you about some issues that have been on your mind. Set a time that is convenient for both of you and plan to meet in a quiet place that is free from distractions. If you keep your positive mindset intact throughout this process, you will be able to plan for a discussion instead of a shouting match.
When you have set a time and place for your discussion, continue to refine your list of the points you would like to make. When you are considering each issue, think of the problem in terms if how you feel, not what the other person has done. If you plan to use statements that communicate your feelings without making the other person feel like they are being accused of some wrongdoing, you’ll be able to have a discussion that runs more smoothly and is more productive in the long run. Once you have your final list of issues put together, you can attend the discussion session with a clear conscience.
During your discussion, you may become frustrated and be tempted to raise your voice, use foul language, or make remarks that make the other person feel bad or guilty. If your positive mindset is still intact, you’ll be able to plan for these moments of frustration and use your time more productively. Instead of yelling or creating more problems, try using simple relaxation and breathing techniques to calm down and get back to the issue at hand. Keeping this positive mindset can also help you come up with creative solutions to the issues you are discussing and help you to remain calm throughout the discussion. Confronting a loved one is never easy, but having the discussion you want to have about your feelings can prevent issues from spiraling out of control and becoming impossible to deal with in the future.
Keywords: relationship problem solving, solving a relationship problem, communication in a relationship
Adrian and Brenda can show you that anything is possible if you get your mind set balanced. They came together after some very life changing experiences.Their site, www.lead-a-powerful-life.com is for you.to get the proper mindset to take your life wherever you would like it to go.
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Copyright 2006 Adrian McMaster